My 11 year old daughter came to me last night asking if she could sleep over at a friend's house. This friend lives in our neighborhood just a few streets away, yet I do not know her (or her parents). I do, however, have some preconceived opinions about this little girl as she has attended school with my daughter for the past 5 years. She tends to hang around with the trouble maker girls, always known to be mischievous and bratty. My daughter is BEGGING me to let her stay the night with this little girl. Should I cave in and let her go or should I put my foot down and say no? Obviously I want my daughter to have lots of friends and I know I can't "pick them" for her but I want to protect her from getting herself into trouble.
Peer Pressured Popularity
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Dear PPP,
So you are judging this child by what you have heard about her at school?! Come on now. How would you feel if parents were going around judging your little angel? My advice is get to know the parents before letting your daughter go over there, but I say give her a chance. If you trust your daughter, it's just one night. Yes, this girl may be the Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohen of her time in the making, but she could also be the Oprah Winfrey or Hilary Clinton! I agree we want our kids to be popular, but our kids may not care. They may not think like us, have the same views as us, or even like the same type of people we like. You should let your daughter pick her own friends but don't stay too far behind as you have the final say on who is she is allowed to hang out with until she's 18 (we hope). So now is the time you have to put your preconceived notions aside, meet her parents and let your daughter go over and have some fun. You never know... she may come back and despise the child and you never have to hear of it again!
Peace, Kina, TMM
Can I just say that I totally disagree with the response to this question?! I believe that if you have an issue you should always trust your gut. I have had one too many situations where I didn't and completely regret the decision to not. I believe, however, that if you feel uncomfortable with your child staying over there and you want to allow her some freedom as to who she picks as a friend you should allow her to stay at your house. This way she gets to still feel as though she can be friends with said child but you also still have some control and can monitor what they are doing together. And you can also see if the child is truly someone that she can hang out with and if she is, then she can stay at her home another time.
ReplyDeleteYou can absolutely disagree! This is exactly why we have created this blog... to give advice and get opinions on the table. Thanks, fellow Momma!
DeleteI totally agree. This girl may be totally different when she is with only one other girl than when she is at school. Your daughter may be the type of friend she needs! If you trust your daughter then give her a chance to prove she can be trusted with this girl.
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