Dear Mouthy Mommas,
My hubby and I have been arguing lately about what age is appropriate for a child to start doing chores. Not heavy lifting, mind you. But simple stuff, like loading and unloading the dishwasher, setting or clearing the dinner table, putting away their own laundry, etc. What age do you think they should pull their weight around the house? Does it matter if they are a boy or a girl? Should we pay them? I'd love to hear your opinion so I can prove him wrong!
Desperate Domestic Goddess
******************************************************************************
Dear Desperate DG,
First and foremost, it doesn't matter if you are a boy or a girl. This is 2012 and you should know how to do the tasks required to run a household! Boys may need to do their laundry and girls may need to mow their yard without having to get a guy to do it. Although the children at our household don't have set chores that they do every week, I do expect that when asked to help with jobs around the house they participate willingly. This is part of being a family. This is part of being in a relationship: helping those that you love. This may start as early as 2 when it may mean helping mom or dad by running to grab an item, picking up toys and putting them in the basket, and progresses as they are able to accomplish bigger chores. Unless it is something that I deem out of the ordinary, I do not expect to have to pay my children to clean their room or put away their dishes. Until I get a paycheck for cooking dinner, getting the lunch (that I made and they forgot) to school and driving them to practices, games and other activities (that I pay and provide equipment for). I will make payment in small odd jobs that teach them to be better human beings and give them a fighting chance at becoming good roommates as they venture out on their own and someday, respected spouses who contribute to the needs of their own households because their mom and dad taught them it was the right thing to do.
Fight the good fight, Goddess!
See ya, Mel, TMM
P.S. I find one experience with the Clorox wipes and the toilet improves aim better than Cherrios ever could!
A-freaking-MEN. Couldn't have said it better myself. That's pretty much spot on to what we do in our house. In another life, I was married to someone that moved straight from his Mama's house to mine. And expected me to pick up where she left off. He had a VERY rude awakening on that one. Right then and there, I vowed to NEVER let any son of mine marry some poor unsuspecting girl and expect her to be his Mother. My boys (and girl, of course)know everything from how to clean the business end of a toilet to how to do their laundry from start to finish..without turning anything a different color...and how to cook themselves a meal while they're waiting for the dryer to ding. Kids are never too young to start learning how to contribute in some way. As far as paying them, keep in mind that whatever you start today, sets a precedent for the years to come. Once you start, you can't really go back. Just my 2 cents. :)
ReplyDeleteI love this topic. This reminds me of a girl in college who didn't know how to do laundry. How's that possible? I'm a SAHM of a 2 year old. Right now, the only thing I REQUIRE of her is to pick up her toys/things and put them away when she is told to do so. Much to my surprise, she loves to help me do other things around the house. Together we unload/load the dishwasher, she puts away the silverware (no knives of course), all the plastic container bowls. I rinse and hand her silverware to put in the dishwasher, as well as her cups, and other non breakables. She helps load the washing machine, then I let her push the buttons to start it. She'll pick up the pulled weeds and throw them in the bag. The other day, she helped me shred stacks of mail. Now mind you, she IS 2. So the silverware gets thrown into the drawer, and I have to go back and arrange it. Get over the OCD quick! Kids are capable of doing a lot more than we tend to give them credit for. I also take lots of pictures, because I'm sure I'll have to remind her one day that she used to love helping mommy around the house.
ReplyDeleteMy kids started by 2 at least. Two year olds can put their plastic plate or cup in the sink, clothes in the laundry hamper, etc. One of our first regular chores was putting silverware away out of the dishwasher. Plus it was a good sorting activity. My children also did their own laundry. When my oldest daughter wrote a full page not detailing exactly how to do and not to do her specific laundry, that was my cue. "Since you have some very specific special needs with your laundry, let me show you how to do it. That way you will be sure to have it done how and when you need it." She was in 4th grade at the time and has done her laundry ever since. My son had baseball uniforms that were always needing washed and so he was about the same age when he started doing his own laundry. My youngest was in 2nd grade at the time and since she wanted to keep up with her siblings, she ASKED if she could do her own laundry. And being such a GIVING mom, of course, how could I refuse her?
ReplyDeleteSo, yeah! I do not have to do their laundry. However, in return, I have also had to live with a a laundry room that is a disaster area, and needing to do my own laundry when there is someone's wet clothes in the washer, and never being able to find an empty laundry basket. But still a win for me and a win for my kids.
Kids did great doing chores until they left for college. Now they come back in the summer and are complete slobs. My time with them is fleeting, so choosing my battles since world war 3 about dirty dishes will not help them want to come and visit me when I have grandbabies some day!